QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

SO, its my birthday 🥳 I was going to do a “25 things I learned by 25” post again this year but I decided not to. It’ll be the same cliche things I’ve done for the last few years. 

Instead, here are three things that I’ve really had to learn and grow through this year alone that I’ll go more in detail on and actually speak from the heart.

1. Be wherever you are 

I’ve found myself often always looking towards the future and focusing on what comes next that I forget to be where I am. I forget to take a second and realise that I’m living the life past me was dreaming and planning for. I get so wrapped up in thinking about what’s next that I don’t even appreciate what’s now. So my advice: just stop thinking so much. Just be where you are, feel the feelings, actually be present in your present. The future is going to happen either way – so you may as well just enjoy where you are before it does. 

2. It’s okay to be happy and sad 

It’s okay to be happy and living life to the fullest while still dealing with feelings of sadness, grief, anxiety or stress. You’re a complex being and it’s okay to be in more than one state of mind. It’s okay to be smiling and laughing with your friends and then crying while brushing your teeth. It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to completely compartmentalise your emotions and only feel one at a time. Just let your heart feel what it needs to. Sure, you might feel unstable but I genuinely think that it’s okay to be happy and sad. Emotions are fleeting and ever changing so the best is to just go with the flow. Utilise the happy moments and be kind to yourself in the not so happy ones. 

3. Love really is all around us 

Yes, it’s a cheesy quote from Love Actually, but this year I have learnt to realise that love comes in SO many different forms that we often don’t notice. Yes there is romantic love, which I have been so so lucky to have been able to experience this year and am the most grateful to have found someone who loves me and I get to love in that way. There is platonic love (which honestly, female friendships are the definition of true love). My best friends have carried my heart throughout this year and I just know I am in the safest and warmest of hands when it comes to my girl friends. Girlhood truly is the most magical place. There is love to be found in your family. My family are my greatest treasure and being away from them this year has made me infinitely more appreciative for them. There’s love to be found in people you randomly meet one day that become important people in your life. Theres love to be found with the girl in the Starbucks line who asks you what your drink order is because it looks tasty. There’s love to be found for strangers on public transport who let you get off the train first or give up their seat for you. There’s love in strangers letting you pet their dogs. There’s love in watching people in cafe’s live their lives. There’s love in watching a child learn something new for the first time. There’s love in hearing a friend call you family. There’s love in your friends family checking up on you. There’s love in your male friends who you know you are safe with and can be yourself with. There’s love in people letting you in during traffic. There’s love in people sending you Taylor Swift news/reels/tiktoks because they know you are a fan of hers. There’s love in friends randomly checking in on you. There’s love in the barista knowing your order by heart. There’s love in sunflower fields at sunset. There’s love in rainy days snuggled up with your favourite movie/book. There’s love in trying a new restaurant and LOVING it.  There’s love in a cat choosing to sit in your lap. There’s love in finding your favourite coffee shop. There’s love in trying a Taylor Swift soul cycle class and feeling like a changed person afterwards. There’s love in moving to a new place and adapting to its ways and not having to use google maps all the time. There’s love in sunrises. There’s love in thunderstorms. There is love where you look for it. Yes, the world seems like a sad and scary place at times – but one thing that hasn’t been completely destroyed is the human ability to love. I have felt so loved this year in so many ways that I am truly the luckiest. Once I started looking at everything through the lens of “there is love in this” – my whole outlook changed. I hope you can find love in everything. 

So here’s to half 50, a quarter century and a quarter life crisis all at once. It’s scary being 25 and not quite knowing what you want the rest of your life to look. It can also be really exciting. I’m still pretending COVID years didn’t count so technically I am 23. But realistically I am 25 (and still growing up now). Still getting to know myself and love myself and love everyone around me. Here’s to more yellow, more smiles so big my eyes look closed and more love. I have decided to trade the more happiness in for more love – I’ve found happiness is fleeting whereas love is way more lasting.

All the love, 

Jay.