6 months. Half a year. A space where my life has been flipped upside down and turned back around again. A period of time where I made major life decisions and decided what steps to take in order to become who I want to be.
It seems like yesterday that I was writing my 2021 wrap up piece on here. It shames me to know that was the last piece of writing I did. But I also know that following that post was the most uninspired I have ever felt. Nothing good would have come out of me creatively anyway.
As I sit here, cross legged on my bed, waiting for my software update on my phone to download, I find myself actually wanting to put some words down. Words have failed me in the last few months – my answer to many things (big, small, deep, surface level) has been “I don’t know”. And I didn’t. I did not know how to put my feelings into words for a while.
I could sit here and tell you all about what the last 6 months have entailed. OR, which in my opinion is a lot more meaningful, I could tell you what I have learnt from these last 6 months. So, surprise, I went for the latter option.
I can make a very long list of lessons, but I want to focus on the three main things I have learnt.
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.
Yes, rely on those close to you. Reach out to friends and family. Don’t go through things alone. BUT also realise that people will let you down. The people you thought would be there for you through the tough times won’t be. The people you expect to show up when you need them don’t. The people you want to lean on, you can’t. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about that. Except to learn to lean on yourself. To be there for yourself in the tough times. To show up for yourself.
I won’t lie. It’s difficult. Some days you just cry at the thought of having to do it alone. Some days you won’t even realise you are carrying yourself through it. Then, one day, you’ll be brushing your teeth and you’ll look at your reflection in the mirror and you’ll think to yourself, “I did it. I did it all by myself, but I did it. I came out the other side and I am stronger and wiser for it.” It does suck feeling like you have no one to turn to. But it will suck a little less when you realise you have everything you need within you already. You got this.
NO ONE HAS LIFE FIGURED OUT, AND IF THEY SAY THEY DO, THEY’RE MOST LIKELY LYING.
Genuinely, we are all just trying to figure out what we want in this life. No one has done that yet. Everyone you speak to has some area/aspect of their life they regret, are unsure of, want to change or want to improve.
I felt lost and anxious for so long thinking I was the only one who had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. What my next steps were. What the ‘right’ steps were.
After speaking to many people for advice, I realized we are all just trying to make the best of our lives. We take the cards we have in our hands, and we try to shuffle them around to make a winning hand. And that will look different for everyone as we all have a vastly different set of cards in our hands. So of course, the play you make with them will be different. Do not compare your life, journey, situation, or self to anyone else. Focus on your hand of cards and try make the best play you can. You cannot do that while focusing on someone else’s hand. Just figure YOUR life out for YOURSELF. Don’t let the opinions, Instagram stories or societal pressures force you to play a hand that isn’t authentically you and one that won’t make you proud. It’s not about playing THE best hand; it’s about playing YOUR best hand.
TELL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM.
Honestly my biggest takeaway. You never know when the last time will be the last time. Hug your family. Spend time with your friends. Never be ashamed to tell someone you love that you love them.
I wish I had done it more. Especially before it was too late. Life doesn’t wait for you to figure out your feelings.
Don’t be scared to appreciate the people in your life LOUDLY. Just make sure that everyone knows that you appreciate and love them. You don’t have to do a big gesture; you can literally send them a text. But don’t wake up and realise it’s too late or you didn’t say it enough.
WRAPPED UP WITH A BOW ON IT.
With that all said, these last few months have been an emotional transformation for me, and I cannot wait to see where I end up.
We kind of just have to grow through what we go through. It sucks in the moment, but once you’ve gone through it – you come out the other side a different version of yourself. And I think it’s really beautiful to evolve into all these different versions with different aspects of ourselves changed forever.
I hope at least one sentence in this whole post touched you in some way or form (I know it was a little bit of a waffle but just add some syrup if you need). I hope if you are going through it at the moment, that you’re almost at that point where you know you will be okay. If not, you will be okay. You will get there.
Use this as a reminder to treat everyone with kindness. The world is in very short supply.
Let’s hope it’s not another 6 months before you hear from me again.
All the love,
Jay.
Just Jay 