In honour of World Mental Health day, I thought I would write a bit about a topic that I feel sometimes does not get the recognition it deserves as many people take it too lightly. While saying this, please know that how you choose to look after your mind is a totally personal choice and this is just how I like to. Self care is often branded as ‘treating yourself’ to luxury goods or putting on a facemask and listening to music. While these activities can make you feel better and I do recommend doing them every now and then – self care is much more complex.
more than candles and face masks
Now don’t get me wrong – I love a good face mask and pamper night as the next person but sometimes I feel like people only think of Self Care as a surface level concept. When in fact, it goes much deeper.
Sometimes self care is taking a bubble bath and giving your skin some TLC. I don’t discourage listening to your favourite music while wrapped up in a cuddly blanket. Self care can be going for lunch with your best friends or having a dinner party. Dancing around your room to your favourite soundtrack helps in more ways than one. Book yourself that facial and go relax at the spa. Reading your favourite book is always good for the soul and I do truly believe face masks have healing powers in them. I do not discredit any of these kind of self care practices.
However, other times (more often than not) self care isn’t as pretty as we’d like it to be. Sometimes self care is doing that task that you have been putting off for a while now. Sometimes self care is having that needed difficult conversation with someone that you have been dreading to have. Sometimes self care is cleaning your room because you know it will make you feel better even though you would much rather do anything else. Sometimes it is saying ‘no’ to plans in order to catch up on sleep. Sometimes its actually sitting down and doing your work before the due date to avoid the added stress of rushing through it. Sometimes self care is doing the nitty gritty because you know you have to. Self care isn’t always going to be lavish candles and fairy lights – sometimes its going to be boring and tedious. But still worth it. Looking after yourself and your needs is not always going to be glamourous. It won’t always be Instagram worthy. And that’s okay.
Self care is also not a static thing. One size does not fit all. My self care days each look very different to each other depending on what is going on with me at the moment. My self care days also look different to my friends days. Which is okay.
Some of my self care practices:
- Going through my WhatsApp and answering messages. For me, I am terrible on my phone and sometimes having to reply to many people takes a toll on my mind. So I sometimes leave messages unread for days at a time. A way I like to honour my mind is to set aside time to go through all my messages and start reducing the number on the top left of my WhatsApp screen. Because as much as I do not want to do this and it is tedious – I genuinely feel better after doing so. Some days I get through 5 chats and others I get through 10. Learn to know how much you are capable of and learn to honour those days where you won’t be able to do as much.
- Cleaning my room. Just picking the clothes up off the floor and hanging them in the cupboard instantly helps me feel lighter. Clearing my dressing table and putting my makeup and brushes back in their drawers. Putting the books on my bedside table back onto the book shelf if I have finished reading them, and neatly stacking them on the table if I am still reading them. Making sure I have put my dirty laundry in the basket. Simple tasks that are not pretty to do but help make my mind a better place.
- Watching a YouTube video or a church sermon that I know will challenge me and make me think. Sometimes in order to look after ourselves we have to think. We have to be challenged and actually think things that might change the way we do things or see things.
- Throwing out expired makeup or toiletries. You know that body lotion that you have had since you were 16 but you hardly use it so it should still be good right? Throw it out. That concealer that you have been using for 2 years and it hasn’t run out yet? Throw it out. Declutter and throw out expired things.
- Of course a nice hot shower with a hair wash, exfoliation and all that jazz. Like I said, sometimes these sorts of self care are needed.
- Journaling about what I’m feeling and writing about what is going on in my life. I try to pay attention to what comes out and then I start to tend to those feelings.
- Switching my phone on airplane mode for an hour. Knowing that I am unavailable and do not have to respond to anything for an hour gives me a sense of freedom I never knew I needed.
- Read my bible and spend time in God’s word. Drawing nearer to God helps put a lot of things in my life into perspective.
- Cuddle my pets. It is almost a guarantee that I will feel better.
- Cry if I need to. Laugh if I need to.
- Blasting my favourite songs and singing at the top of my lungs.
- Watching my comfort movies that I have seen over a hundred times.
- Tell myself it is okay if all I can accomplish on that day is a nap and a cup of tea.
Sometimes we can do the hard stuff and we must when we can. Sometimes, all I can do for myself is take a nap. That is okay too. Try make room for at least one day a week to do some self care – in whatever form you need it to be. Do not let everything bottle up in your mind. Try to take stock and tend to the thoughts and feelings regularly.
look after you for you
Sometimes self care is seen as selfish, but it isn’t. It is putting the needs of yourself over the wants of others. It is more of a self respect act. Taking care of yourself does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Needing to take care of yourself does not make you weak. It makes you human.
Do what is good for YOU. Do it for YOU.
How do you practice self care? Let me know in the comments.
All the love, Jay.
Just Jay 